New question of the week!

[northernwalker]

You are single and have been dating someone for about 2 months. He seems like a great guy- shares your interests, is fun, helpful, romantic, etc. He's also reasonably well off, which is nice but not that important to you. You have been sexually involved for a month or so and everything seems wonderful.

Then you find out he's been lying to you about his identity all along, fake name and all. He is actually single, but he frequently uses a fake name avoid dealing with people who only want his money, as he's wealthier than he led you to believe. He doesn't think it's a big deal- he gets that you're upset, but sees it as a minor mistake. He wants to keep seeing you. How do you react?

Sub in the gender of your choice- I just didn't want to write he/she fifteen times. I'm lazy.


I think he's a sleazeball and would dump him flat. I'd also be getting a battery of STD tests. He's displayed no respect for me or my feelings, and the fact that he's willing to lie about something this big simply because it's more convenient for him tells me something very unpleasant about his character. I'd also be highly offended at being written off as a golddigger.

This question was brought to you by the dreadful romance novel I was glaring at in the bookstore tonight. I hit this point and threw it overboard. I assume he got the girl in the end, but I couldn't stand to look at it any longer.

Comments

[nostasia.livejournal.com]

I think I agree with you. Part of the basis of a good relationship is trust. If he (or she) does not trust you, their SO, with the truth, or at least part of it (after all, he does not have to tell anyone his financial status), then how can he trust you or you trust him later? Starting a relationship with a lie does not bode well for its continuation.

[dr-zrfq.livejournal.com]

I agree with this. However:

after all, he does not have to tell anyone his financial status

It doesn't matter whether he tells anyone or not. Once you get past a certain point, too many people know anyway... and then the whole world does. Even if they don't associate a face with the name.

Still, there has to be a better way to handle it than not telling you even after two months of dating (and sex for the last month of that).

[northernwalker]

In the book she found out when she picked up a magazine that had him profiled, complete with picture. Yeah, people knew.

[zhukora1.livejournal.com]

Hmm....I would probably react to something like the way I would if he'd told me any other giant and unpleasant secret--like if he was a registered sex offender or liked kicking puppies or something. I probably wouldn't believe him at first, then I'd flip out and not speak to him for a week or two while I got my battle plans in order, then confront him and demand every single detail before deciding to kick him to the curb or put him on probation. Admittedly the thinking it's not a big deal has sleaze written all over it, but if we'd been dating that long I imagine I'd have a hard time brushing him off without the whole disbelief/silent treatment/confrontation cycle. :P

I read a romance novel some time ago with another appalling premise. There was a prince or duke or something who was of course young and devastatingly handsome. One night he stayed at a country inn, and the innkeeper, who was too lazy/cheap to hire a hooker for his patron, gave him a random young beggar girl pulled off the street. Prince Douchebag rapes the girl and goes on his merry way, then years later meets a beautiful noblewoman with a young son, plot ensues, and he falls in love with her. Beautiful noblewoman then reveals that she's actually the beggar girl, that her kid is his kid (and firstborn son, no less!), and that she's spent her whole life building herself up until she could meet him again in order to....stab him in the neck be in love with him and get married and live happily ever after since he's the father of her child. AUGGHGHHHHH! I'm pretty sure the vast majority of romance novels are written by people with barely two brain cells to rub together. In what universe is that an ok plot for a book? Dx

[northernwalker]

I think I'd be so ticked that I'd just go with the burn the town and salt the ashes approach. I wouldn't want to talk to him- I'd be too furious.

As for that plot, man, where is Lady DeWinter when you need her?

I'd have spent my life building myself up to seduce him, then dethrone him and declare my son the rightful king. He'd end up in a hermitage somewhere- blinding him and cutting his tongue out are a nice touch, don't you think? I would rule with a velvet fist until the kid was an adult, then go off and live on some nice tropical island with cabana boys. And puppies.

Isn't that a better plot? ;)

[zhukora1.livejournal.com]

I do like your version of this plot much better than the original. ;) Especially the cabana boys and puppies. Lifetime original movie, anyone? It's so heartwarming, after all. xD