I still love this piece

[northernwalker]

As Ultimate Fighting continues its phenomenal rise, Onion Sports runs down the most commonly cited reasons for the sport's popularity:
1. America's deep abiding interest in Brazilian jiu-jitsu
2. Professional wrestling fans like to relax and watch it after long hard days of suspending their disbelief
3. The fact that this shit is actually legal
4. Accidentally TiVo'd by people hoping to watch the Ultimate Frisbee Championship
5. Are heterosexual males; nothing more heterosexual than watching a well-muscled man force himself between another man's legs, mount him, and pound away at him until he submits
6. Because the ability to escape an arm bar isn't merely a fighting technique but a metaphor for how, in these difficult times, all Americans are trying their best to escape
7. Unlike many sports, has useful applications in one's home and workplace
8. Nice to see someone else getting their ass kicked for once
9. Easy touchstone for doomsayers decrying the degradation of American culture
10. Although detractors decry it as a brutal, bloody form of human cockfighting, aficionados know it is a brutal, bloody, totally fucking awesome form of human cockfighting